I Agree To A Chicago Relay

I did a long run (for me) on Saturday morning, again enlisting the aid of the Pups to be my water mules (it's a cross-breed designation, slightly confusing, but it works for me) for just over eight miles. I ran a slow, 9:50 pace, and felt great. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and it was a beautiful day in the Ozarks. Add a dozen dancing Geisha girls and we'd have had a party. The run itself was fairly uneventful, other than the opportunity to have an ongoing conversation with my water mules. All was well in my world, if just for the moment.

But then chaos erupted (reason for said chaos involves my much better half, mentioned below): a good friend of mine from college (we'll call him Bone, because that's what I call him, for reasons that can't be divulged at the moment) invited me, via text (not relevant, but I felt necessary to mention), to compete with him and another buddy of ours in the Mens Health Chicago Urbanathlon. I've never done it, but from what I can tell from the website the Urbanathlon is the equivalent of race-lite. Like decaf coffee. Coors Light on ice. Sex with a condom (scratch that...had other things on my mind at the moment). It's only about 12 miles long, but run it as a relay (as we plan to) and you're only looking at a 4-mile leg, albeit with a few obstacles thrown in.

The last time I was in Chicago, it was with the same guy, a bunch of other guys, and events included much drinking of beer and being accosted by a hooker with a knife (and not the hot, Julia Roberts Pretty Woman-type, either) . Another story, another time. But suffice it to say, I was innocent of all charges. But I digress.

I'm flying into Chicago on October 16, sampling a few local brews, and catching up with my teammates. The first buddy invited couldn't make it so our other guy is Bone's brother: younger, in better shape, and dropping us into a younger age bracket, damn his young hide. We'll get up bright and early Saturday morning, and we're off when they blow the horn at 8 am. At least I think it's at 8 am. I might want to verify that prior to the actual race.

Chaos, to whit: My much better half is not overjoyed that I'm traveling to Chicago to compete in said race, as she knows that Bone and I enjoy a brew or two or ten, and she's already looked at the race information and is not impressed ( "...TWELVE miles? Divided into THREE legs? Are you kidding me?!?..." ), and sees this as an excuse to get out of the house and imbibe heavily on the pretense of a Big Medicine race. Which it's not. Entirely, that is. Training details and email torrent to follow...